I quit

Just a week ago I had a job interview for a part time RN position.  I had barely replied to the job posting when they called to set up the interview.  I had been looking for a part time job but not looking too seriously.  So I went into the interview thinking that I'd only take the job if everything checked out.  The interview went well.  They had offered me the job by the end of it.  And I had to tell them my answer the next day because orientation started the day after that.  I started to get stressed out about being gone from Channing and finding someone that I felt comfortable watching him.  Luckily there are two girls in our ward that were free to babysit until they left for college at the end of August.  But I still needed to find someone who could watch Channing after August.  Justin had started to call daycares to ask about prices and how things work at different daycares.  I told him to ask about nap times because I was curious about how they put a bunch of toddlers down for a nap.  Channing definitely needs at least one nap a day.  One place told us that after lunch they put out a bunch of mats and have the kids lay down for their nap.  I litereally laughed out loud when Justin told me this.  How in the world do they expect toddlers to sit or lay still on a mat?  AND fall asleep?  Putting Channing in a daycare is our last resort.  I would rather have him go to a friend's house who only has one or two kids of their own.  Channing absolutely needs a quiet, dark room to take a nap.  That's just what he's used to.

Moving on...I decided to accept the RN position after they said I could work days.  Originally they would only hire me for nights.  So I figured I'd give it a try since the pay was decent and they agreed to let me work days.  I had my first 12 hour orientation shift this past Sunday.  From the very beginning it was sort of a disaster.  The nurse I was shadowing was great so I felt comfortable asking her a lot of questions about how things really are as a nurse here at this facility.  I wasn't happy with any of the answers.  She told me about how she often has to work a few hours late because her charting gets so behind.  And not to mention, they give one nurse 18 patients.  Yes, 18!  (Even though during my interview they said I'd never have more than 15 patients.)  Turns out it's not atypical to have more than 15 patients, which I think is ridiculous and just a way for them to not have to pay one more nurse for the day. CNAs often dont show up, making the work harder.  You often don't get breaks.  And there is a quick turn over rate because nurses get burnt out.

All day it felt like you never stopped moving.  There was always something to do like treatments, charting, or medications.  You never felt like you could give the patients the time and attention they deserved.  I asked the nurse I was shadowing if this was considered a very busy day.  And she replied that she's been much busier and things get much crazier.  Lucky for her, it was her last day.  She was moving on to a L&D position at the hospital.

Probably by 4 or 5 oclock on that day I had decided that this was probably not going to work out for me.  I took the job because I was genuinely excited about it.  I'm not looking for a job that you get burnt out from in only a few months.  And having to stay late all the time because there is just too much to get done isn't what I signed up for.  For me, my family is most important.  I need to see Channing at least for a few minutes once a day.  And this job wasn't going to allow me to do that.

So yes, I quit.  It was a very difficult decision.  Mainly I struggled with feeling like I was letting myself and Justin down.  I was looking forward to helping out financially.  But I knew that if the job didn't make me happy, it wasn't going to work out.

I'm still on the look out for jobs.  Maybe something will work out.  Ever since that job interview and my decision to take the job I've been so stressed out.  I couldn't sleep or eat.  And I LOVE sleep and eating.  So it's nice not feeling stressed right now.  School is done for the semester.  And I'm enjoying a lot of free time.  I'm sure if another job opportunity comes up I'll be stressed again, but hopefully next time they don't expect me to take on 18 patients.